Tales of the Internet
by LolaRose-347
Summary: In which our favourite bunch of weirdo's be random. 'Where the hell is that dislike button?" Internet Crack. From Facebook to Chatrooms to Messenger.
1. hallways

**LolaRose Here.**

**For the people who have read my other stories 'The System' and 'Project Whore' and are waiting on that new chapter this is what I have been up to!**

**This is basically our favourite Fairy Tail characters on the internet. It may be Facebook or Messenger or even your average chatroom. There is some romance in here and if you want to know what the couples are then read ahead :). **

**I hope you all enjoy this!**

**LolaRose Out.**

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><p><strong>Lucy Heartfilla <strong>with **Cana Alberona**

I hate your Dad.

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**Comments**

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**Cana Alberona** What did he do now?

**Lucy Heartfilla** He gave me a detention for 'loitering in the hallway'. Ugh.

**Natsu Dragneel **Lol

**Lucy Heartfilla** YOU WERE WITH ME NATSU

**Natsu Dragneel** Oh yeah. Why didn't I get in trouble?

**Cana Alberona** Cuz' the old man finally decided to show his biased colours.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Favouritism much?

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**Natsu Dragneel** is now friends with **Juvia Lockser**

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**Comments**

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**Gray Fullbuster** Wow. Seriously?

**Natsu Dragneel** Jealous? ;)

**Gray Fullbuster** ...No

**GrayFullbuster** I don't care.

**Juvia Lockser** WELL THEN.

**Gajeel Redfox** Heartless dickhead.

**Jellal Fernandes** That's cold.

**Gray Fullbuster** I'm not even...Nevermind

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**Levy Mcgarden** My favourite book just got published in German :)

**Lucy Heartfilla** likes this

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox** Where the hell is that dislike button?

**Levy Mcgarden** ...Get off my status.

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**Natsu Dragneel** wants cake

**Erza Scarlet** likes this

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Juvia Lockser wrote on Erza Scarlet's timeline

Hiya BFEAWTHIAT! :D

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**Comments**

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**Jellal Fernandes** ...What?

**Gray Fullbuster** Engilsh please.

**Erza Scarlet**

Bestie

For

Eternity

And

Whatever

The

Hell

Is

After

That

It's not that hard.

**Erza Scarlet** And I love you too :) xx

**Gray Fullbuster** Unbelievable

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**Lucy Heartfilla** with **Lisanna Strauss **

Inbox. Now.

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**Messengers (2)**

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**Lucy Heartfilla **I need help.**  
><strong>

**Lucy Heartfilla **ASAP

**Lisanna Strauss **What can I do for you

**Lucy Heartfilla **We need to go to the mall on tomorrow

**Lisanna Strauss **Erm...Why?

**Lucy Heartfilla **I need knew shoes and your sister has a date tomorrow

**Lisanna Strauss **So I'm just a step in for my sister...

**Lucy Heartfilla **...Yeah?

**Lisanna Strauss **...Oh well. Seems like a legit reason.

**Lisanna Strauss **Plus I love you, so that makes it okay.

**Lucy Heartfilla** :)

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**Jellal Fernandes** is not going to school tomorrow

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**Comments**

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**Erza Scarlet** Yes you are.

**Jellal Fernandes** Okay

**Natsu Dragneel** Whipped

**Erza Scarlet** I beg your pardon?

**Natsu Dragneel** NOTHING. I SAID NOTHING.

**Gray Fullbuster** Yeah you did.

**Natsu Dragneel** Tch. And how the hell would you know that.

**Gray Fullbuster** I scrolled up dumbass.

**Erza Scarlet** I'm your chemistry partner Natsu. You have been warned.

**Natsu Dragneel** :(

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**Laxus Dreyer** wrote on **Mirajane Strauss's** timeline

How about you and me have some fun later ;)

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**Comments**

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**Juvia Lockser** Um...

**Lucy Heartfilla** This is sick!

**Gajeel Redfox** I am disgusted.

**Mirajane Strauss **You guys misinterpreted it...

**Gajeel Redfox** Well in that case, Laxus you need to be more careful with how you word your sentences

**Laxus Dreyer** ...I hate you all

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><p><strong>note one<strong>: This is like the proluge and it has no real plot to it.

**note two**: Read and Review!


	2. mcdonalds & perverts

From: Lucy

To: Lisanna

Subject: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!

I lost you when I went into the Build-a-Bear store. NOW I CAN'T FIND YOU.

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From: Lucy

To: Lisanna

Subject: RE: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!

AND WHY THE HELL IS THIS PLACE SO CROWDED

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From: Lucy

To: Lisanna

LISANNA!

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From: Lucy

To: Lisanna

GOD DAMMIT

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**Lucy Heartfilla** wrote on **Lisanna Strauss**'s timeline.

ANWSER YOU PHONE BETCH!

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From Lisanna:

To: Lucy

Whoa.

Impatient much.

GWASH.

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To: Lisanna

From: Lucy

Whatevs. Now where are you? I'm outside the food court.

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To: Lucy

From: Lisanna

Yeah, I see you.

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To: Lucy

From: Lisanna

Dude…did the guy behind you just smack your ass?

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To: Lucy

From: Lisanna

What's with that look in your eye-HOLY SHIT YOU JUST PUNCHED HIS NECK

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**Lucy Heartfilla **with **Lisanna Struass**

I am never going to the mall again.

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**Lisanna Strauss** thinks Lucy is overreacting.

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**Comments**

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**Lucy Heartfilla **I don't care what anybody says! That pervert done it on purpose.

**Erza Scarlet **Done what on purpose?

**Lucy Heartfilla** Smacked my ass on purpose -_-

**Natsu Dragneel** Who is this douche.

**Lucy Heartfilla** How the hell am I meant to know? By the time I was done with him, his face was unrecognisable.

**Gajeel Redfox** That's not frightening at all.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Go die you ass.

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**Natsu Dragneel** is on the hunt for a perverted idiot.

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**Comments**

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**Gray Fullbuster** Look in the mirror

**Natsu Dragneel** Shut up fancy pants. Oh wait...

**Gray Fullbuster** Fuck you.

**Lucy Heartfilla** I'm telling you Natsu, I don't know what he looked like.

**Natsu Dragneel** I NEED NAMES LUCY

**Lucy Heartfilla** I give up.

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**Juvia Lockser** I got a job at McDonalds :D

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**Comments**

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**Gray Fullbuster **I'm expecting a McFlurry on Monday.

**Juvia Lockser** Oh that's cool.

**Juvia Lockser** That'd be 99p :)

**Gray Fullbuster** ...Come again?

**Erza Scarlet** Do besties get a discount?

**Juvia Lockser** I can make that happen...

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**Erza Scarlet** with** Lucy Heartfilla**, **Lisanna Struass **and **Levy Mcgarden**

We're going McDonalds tomorrow

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**Juvia Lockser** wrote on **Gray Fullbuster** timeline

You need to jump off a cliff. ASAP.

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**Comments**

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**Gray Fullbuster** ...Why?

**Juvia Lockser** DON'T ACT INNOCENT

**Juvia Lockser** YOU AND NATSU CAME IN AND CAUSED A MASSIVE DISRUPTION!

**Gray Fullbuster** Only because I found out you were a secret whore.

**Juvia Lockser** My manager wants to get in my pants. How do you think I got that bestie discount for my girls?

**Gray Fullbuster** You just admitted it. Whore.

**Juvia Lockser** That doesn't mean I slept with him or done anything remotely intimate with the guy. EW.

**Gray Fullbuster** Oh so I'm guessing you used your non-existent sex appeal?

**Natsu Dragneel** OH SNAP.

**Jellal Fernandes** 0_o

**Juvia Lockser** You know what? I don't give a flying fuck what you think of me you paedophile!

**Gray Fullbuster** Oh really? Cuz' I think you do!

**Juvia Lockser **No. Fucking. Comment.

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**Erza Scarlet** is in a relationship.

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**Comment**

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**Levy Mcgarden** Congrats Erza!

**Juvia Lockser** WITH WHO!

**Erza Scarlet** His name his Shô. He's on the javelin team

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**Jellal Fernandes **

We have a Javelin team?

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox**

Apparently.

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**Natsu Dragneel**

I just got my period

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox **I KNEW IT ALL ALONG

**Jellal Fernandes **I don't want to see this

**Lucy Heartfilla **Wow. Real mature Cana.

**Cana Alberona** ...Fuck. How did you know?

**Juvia Lockser **It's painfully obvious.

**Cana Alberona** Oh hush child. I bet your password is even easier to figure out.

**Mirajane Struass** It's probably water related.

**Laxus Dreyer** Or Gray related. Still obsessed Juvia?

**Juvia Lockser** …Your shitting me right?

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**notes one:** I do not own Fairy Tail

**notes two:** please continue being awesome.


	3. mashed potatoes

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**Natsu Dragneel **wrote on **Sting Eucliffe**'s timeline

I am going to rip your balls off.

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**Comments**

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**Sting Eucilffe** Rude.

**Natsu Dragneel** You got me suspended, jerk

**Sting Eucilffe** Wtf? What did I do?

**Rogue Cheney** Well for starters, you let him take the blame for something you did.

**Gray Fullbuster** Oh shit. Was Sting the one that yelled food fight?

**Sting Eucilffe** How was I meant to know the principle would walk in the cafeteria?

**Natsu Dragneel** Why does he blame everything on me!

**Gray Fullbuster** Cuz' you're usually responsible.

**Natsu Dragneel** Remove yourself.

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**Lucy Heartfilla** I got mashed potatoes on my new top.

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**Comments**

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**Rouge Cheney** That was not my fault.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Except that it is.

**Rouge Cheney** May I ask how you came to that conclusion.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Gladly. You blatantly saw me on your right yet you still 'accidentally' threw the food on me whilst attemting to aim at Gajeel.

**Rouge Cheney** It's your fault for being in the way.

**Rouge Cheney** Also, you spelt 'attempting' wrong.

**Rouge Cheney** Just saying.

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**Lucy Heartfilla** Rouge is emo. Spread the word.

**Sting Eucilffe** likes this

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**Comments**

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**Sting Eucilffe** We have already realized that Lucy.

**Rouge Cheney** Traitor.

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**Shô** is now friends with **Erza Scarlet**

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**Comments**

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**Juvia Lockser** Get some Erza ;)

**Gray Fullbuster** Please leave your whorish tendencies out of her relationship.

**Juvia Lockser** You are on my hit list Fullbuster.

**Jellal Fernandes** Is this even legit.

**Juvia Lockser** Someone's green with jealousy…

**Jellal Fernandes** I'm just asking a question

**Juvia Lockser** Oh sweetie…of course you were.

**Jellal Fernandes **Do I detect sarcasm?

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**Dan Straight **wrote on **Lucy Heartfilla's** timeline

Hello Lulu!

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**Comments**

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**Dan Straight **Lucy-chan?

**Dan Straight** Oh Lucy you're so alluring…

**Sting Euciffle** I'm reporting this.

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**Juvia Lockser **Lisanna and I checked out that new restaurant down town. It is , as one would say, la magnífica.

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox** What is that, German?

**Juvia Lockser** Well, Mr Redfox, whilst you were sending notes to Levy the rest of us were learning SPANISH!

**Gajeel Redfox** Just to make it clear, those are not love notes. They are notes regarding the questions Miss I-need-to-get-laid gave us.

**Juvia Lockser** Oh God.

**Sting Eucilffe** Lisanna? Yeah, she's hot.

**Lisanna Struass** I shall take that as a compliment.

**Sting Eucilffe** You know, me and you should totally go out.

**Natsu Dragneel** Don't listen to him Lisanna. He's a playboy. And a liar.

**Rouge Cheney** Natsu speaks the truth.

**Sting Eucilffe **Assholes. All of you.

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**Levy Mcgarden** is upset. The book store is closed today.

**Gajeel Redfox** likes this

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**Comments**

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**Levy Mcgarden** Once again. Get off my status.

**Gajeel Redfox** You just become more hostile by the day,don't you.

**Mirajane Strauss** Look at you two. I can hear the wedding bells already ;)

**Levy Mcgarden** Impossible.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Then why are you blushing~

**Gajeel Redfox** How do you know she's blushing?

**Lucy Heartfilla** I know all Gajeel.

**Levy Mcgarden** She's at my house.

**Gajeel Redfox** That makes sense.

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**Messages (1)**

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**Elfman Strauss** Laxus and Mirajane are making out on the couch. What should I do?

**Lisanna Strauss** Well what would get their attention?

**Elfman Strauss** ...I'm going to stand naked in the kitchen holding a butter knife.

**Lisanna Strauss** Do it.

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**Mirajane Strauss **wrote on **Elfman Strauss**'s timeline

I am going to kill you.

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**Comments**

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**Laxus Dreyer** I second that notion.

**Elfman Strauss **Man...

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**notes one:** Review!


	4. alliteration

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**Lucy Heartfilla** shared a link **The struggle with taking off skinny jeans**

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**Comments**

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**Mirajane Strauss** That is why I wear dresses

**Natsu Dragneel **Are you okay Lucy? I'll help you take off your skinny jeans!

**Juvia Lockser **…

**Gray Fullbuster** Do you even realise what you just said?

**Natsu Dragneel** Of course I did you idiot. Also, I'm typing not speaking.

**Juvia Lockser** /Facepalm

**Lucy Heartfilla** How did my status go so off topic…?

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**Cana Alberona** My birthday's in a week. START THE COUNTDOWN BITCHES!

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**Comments**

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**Sting Eucliffe** PARTY TIME. CHAYEAH!

**Rogue Cheney **It's in a week Sting.

**Sting Eucliffe** So that means I can't get excited?

Gosh…

**Rogue Cheney** ...

**Erza Scarlet** Will there be alcohol?

**Erza Scarlet **Wait…stupid question.

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**Lyon Vastia** wrote on **Juvia Lockser**'s timeline.

You. Me. Starbucks. What do you say?

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**Comments**

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**Gray Fullbuster** Absolutely not. Remove this at once.

**Lyon Vastia **I'm not talking to you, you sexual offender.

**Gray Fullbuster **If you're referring to my stripping habit, need I remind you that you do that too.

**Juvia Lockser **I'd love to go with you Lyon

**Gray Fullbuster** I find it hilarious how you're suddenly taken an interest in him the same month we had a fight.

**Juvia Lockser** What are you implying, jerk?

**Lyon Vastia** Never mind him. His immaturity is expected. He's yet to reach puberty after all.

**Gray Fullbuster** I beg your pardon? My length has to be like, four inches bigger than yours.

**Lyon Vastia** Your dick is about the size of those toy race cars Natsu is so fond of.

**Lisanna Struass** For the love of…

**Jellal Fernandes** Way to keep it PG guys.

**Natsu Dragnee**l FYI, those race cars are more than toys. They're the origin of awesomeness.

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**Erza Scarlet** has just created a chatroom for girls only. NOW, GO BITCHES.

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox **Are you being serious?

**Erza Scarlet** Whatever. You're just jealous you didn't think of that idea before me.

**Gajeel Redfox **…

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**LuckyLucy **has just entered the chatroom

**WaterWaves~ **has just entered the chatroom

**MissMcgarden **has just entered the chatroom

**Tigeress **has just entered the chatroom

**ScarletSwords **has just entered the chatroom

**LuckyLucy** Your username is so lame Levy. Like wtf. Are you a teacher or something?

**MissMcgarden** I'll have you know that my username sounds a lot better than 'LuckyLucy'. I mean, what's with the alliteration?

**LuckyLucy** Juvia is using alliteration too…

**WaterWaves~** Oh shit. Is that what it's called?

**MissMcgarden** This is why you're failing English.

**Tigress** Sigh. This is such a waste of time.

**ScarletSwords** It is not! Btw I'm using alliteration too -_-

**ScarletSwords** And in a way, so are you Levy.

**MissMcgarden** Oh right…

**WaterWaves~** WHO'S FAILING ENGLISH NOW BITCH.

**LuckyLucy **Still you Juvia…

**Tigress **I'm logging out.

**ScarletSwords** NO! Besides, where are Cana and Mirajane.

**WaterWaves~** Beats me. Oh and for the record, I kick all of your asses at Chemistry and Sports. SO THERE.

**Tigress** …

**Tigress** has left the chatroom.

**WaterWaves~** Congrats guys. Now you've pissed her off.

**MissMcgarden** Oh wow.

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**Cana Alberona** wrote on **Rouge Cheney**'s timeline

You got mashed potatoes all over my shirt.

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**Comments**

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**Lucy Heartfilla** He has a knack for doing that…

**Rogue Cheney** Sting pushed me and I happened to be holding a plate of mashed potatoes at the time. Enough said.

**Cana Alberona** Oh well. I never liked that shirt anyways.

**Lucy Heartfilla** Then why bother wearing it…?

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**Erza Scarlet** My boyfriend and I broke up…

**Jellal Fernandes **liked this

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**Comments**

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**Gajeel Redfox** I see what you did there Jellal. Nicely done.

**Erza Scarlet** Why did you like this!?

**Jellal Fernandes** My hand slipped.

**Erza Scarlet** Then unlike it!

**Jellal Fernandes** Can't. My computer froze.

**Erza Scarlet** Then how are you on Facebook now.

**Jellal Fernandes **I'm on my phone.

**Erza Scarlet** Oh.

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**Sting Eucliffe** wrote on **Jellal Fernandes**'s timeline.

Dude. Didn't your phone get confiscated in Biology?

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**Comments**

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**Erza Scarlet** JELLAL!

**Jellal Fernandes** Wow. Seriously?

**Rogue Cheney** Moron.

**Natsu Dragneel **Why'd you do it bro?

**Sting Eucliffe** What? What did I do?

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From: Lucy

To: Juvia

Subject: No Subject

Are you and Gray still not talking?

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From: Juvia

To: Lucy

Subject: There totally is a subject.

Not unless he apologizes.

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From: Lucy

To: Juvia

Subject: If Lucy says there's no subject, there's no subject.

But you still like him don't you? Yet you still chose to go on that date with Lyon.

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From: Juvia

To: Lucy

Subject: Bitch. How's THAT for a subject.

You haven't told anyone about that have you?

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From: Lucy

To: Juvia

Subject: That is a crappy subject.

No one besides Natsu. But now that I think about it, he did say something about telling Gray.

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From: Juvia

To: Lucy

Subject: Not really :D

WHAT.

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From: Juvia

To: Gray

Subject: NATSU, I WILL SHANK YOU!

DID YOU TELL GRAY I LIKE HIM? CUZ' IF YOU DID YOU WILL _NEVER_ HAVE CHILDREN AGAIN!

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From: Gray

To: Juvia

Subject: RE: NATSU I WILL SHANK YOU!

…Come again?

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From: Juvia

To: Gray

Subject: RE: RE: NATSU, I WILL SHANK YOU!

…Ignore that.

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From: Lucy

To: Juvia

Wait! Forget what I just said. Natsu was talking about something else entirely.

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From: Lucy

To: Juvia

…Juvia?

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**note one:** I actually find this funny.

**note two:** Read and Review!


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